When You Meet the Wrong One...
So the same best friend who introduced me to Chris happens to be the same one who introduced me to Danny as well. Looking bac now I wish she hadn't. LOL
My Junoir & Senior year of high school were pretty much my party years. I smoked weed, drank alcohol, & my senior year was when I started taking E (Ecstasy) a lot. It would be my best friend Erin, Allie, Dean, & I all hanging out having fun & partying together damn near every single weekend. Dean was best friend's with this guy Danny that I had met once or twice before. One night, we all got some E pills & went bac to Allie & Erin's house. About an hour or so after being there Danny shows up & with more E pills. So we all were having fun & normally Danny was always an asshole, but that night we were all getting along with him pretty good. I still blame his niceness on the E haha. Allie, Danny, & I were all on the couch & Erin & Dean were sitting on their bed. Well one minute we're all laughing & chillen then the next Allie, Danny, & I were all kissing it was crazy, one minute I'm kissing him the next he's kissing her & all while he's touching me all over (nether regions included). My head was spinning, it was amazing, the feeling was pure ecstacy; no pun intended. I remember sittin there thinking that I hate him, maybe not hate but I definitely didn't like him bc he was always an ignorant, arrogant asshole so why had I been kissing him & then some??!!! He & I winded up going upstairs & the next thing I kno is im naked from the waste down about to have sex with him. Crazy right? I was young & dumb that's for sure! We never got that far tho. For those of you reading this who have never taken an E pill, sometimes the combination of all the different drugs in the pills affects men to where they cannot achieve an erection no matter how hard they try. That's why we never made it that far, we'll jus say that his "little Danny" didn't wanna wake up to play any games with me. LMAO
Afterwards, we went bac downstairs with erryone to go hang out. A couple of days later when I was bac over Erin's, Danny had came over & after like an hour or so he asked me if I wanted to go to his house & hang out for a while. I said sure & we left. He was a completely different person when it was jus him & I. I actually liked this Danny, & a lot more than the one I had grown to know & almost loathe. We sat around talking & just watching t.v, surprisingly, he didn't try to do anything with me, I was really shocked. If I remember correctly, we didn't even kiss until right before he took me home. By the time that I left, I started to really like him. I think like 2 days later I had surgery to get my tonsils removed. The day after my surgery I remember that I was laying on the couch watching t.v with my mom when the phone rang, she handed it to me, & bc I was still a little out of it from the anesthesia from it being my first surgery ever I didn't even know who I was talking to at first. Come to find out it tho, it was Danny. He was calling bc he had heard from Dean that I had my surgery & wanted to check & see how I was feeling. It was soo sweet of him especially since we had only just started to hang out. It was either the next day or the day after that that he had came to pick me up & we started hanging out again.
That was the week where it all began...
I was out of school & work for the entire week after getting my tonsils out, & everyday I was with him. We grew close very fast, from the early afternoon up until my curfew I was with him. I had started driving school that week too & he would even drop me off & pick me back up when I was finished. We were inseparable. When I went bac to school at first I would go home at night but then I had started staying the night, even though I was 18 I still hid it from my parents. I had told them that I was at Allie & Erin's house which worked until the mornin I had overslept & the automated system from school had called. When Allie & Erin didn't answer their phones she called his, I was busted. Haha My mom had taken it better than I thought she would, she was fine with it saying that I was 18 now but if I continued to oversleep or if I missed any more days that I wouldn't be allowed to stay at his house on school nights anymore. After that, I was pretty much at Danny's every single night. So much that right before graduation my mother told me that I either needed to fully move in with him or start paying her rent because she could be making money from my empty room just sitting there basically acting as a storage unit. Im sure you can guess which option I chose. So, after I graduated high school, I officially moved in with Danny.
I knew he pretty much stayed home but what I didn't realize was that he was basically a recluse. The only time he would really go anywhere was either to his best friend Dean's house or my Uncle Joe's. His days consisted of either playing Xbox &/or watching t.v., it got pretty boring for me. I eventually got myself a laptop, a Wii, & an Xbox of my own so that I would have something else to do besides watch t.v. or watch him play his Xbox. I had to entertain myself because if I did leave to hang out with my friends, I'd get a phone call an hour later asking when I'd be home. I kinda lost myself while I was with him, I started to cut friends & family off just the same as him, which was NEVER me.
This is where everything started to go downhill...
While over my uncle's house I met one of his friend's Brennon & over time we had became close. We would go outside to smoke a cigarette (smoking wasn't allowed inside my uncle's house.) & would have really good conversations. He would actually look at me while I was speaking, he'd take interest in what I had to say, & he would laugh if I had said something funny too. It was the attention I wanted from Danny but no longer got. I should have known from the feelings I got while talking to him that I needed to end things with Danny. But I was young, dumb, & blinded by what I thought was love. As they say tho, "You always want what you can't have." & I had wanted Brennon! I met up with Brennon a couple times but it never really went any further than kissing, even still, that's cheating. Cheating is cheating no matter how you look at it, if it looks like a duck...
The last time I had met up with Brennon that was it, & a couple of months later Danny had proposed.
Now I don't know about other women but I know for myself that when you have a man in front of you, on one knee, bearing his soul to you, crying, it's almost impossible to say no. You don't wanna break his heart or even hurt his feelings, so I said yes. It was wrong of me to do but I still did it anyways. (Don't judge me) I use to never want kids & to never get married but I had gotten really excited about getting married, it was like once that ring went on my finger it was a completely different feeling. (& no... it wasn't guilt! Haha) I went with my Mom, his Mom, & my Aunt to pick out a dress & found the one I was looking for. I had seen it in a magazine & they actually had it there, I was soo excited & it looked beautiful on me too. A couple of months later I was talking about the Brennon thing with the only other person who knew, my uncle's girlfriend Helen & her sister Julia was there. She had no clue that anything had happened between us, which is how I wanted it to be. Since Julia & I were really close like I was with Helen, I figured that I could trust her not to say anything to anyone; boy was I wrong!
About a week later I came home from work & Danny had questioned me about it. I was caught & there was no use trying to hide it either. So I told him the truth, I told him everything. I didn't know what would happen between us but I did feel a little bit of relief finally. The next time I saw Julia I let her know just how pissed I was that she had ran her mouth to him especially when it had nothing to do with her. Right about then is when I had started to listen to my gut about something going on with her & Danny.
About a week or two later Danny had forgiven me & things started to get bac on the right track between us, until they just weren't. The entire time he was making me feel like absolute, complete shit for what had happened with Brennon, come to find out he was fucking Julia. Sticking his dick in her raw & still fucking me raw too. Did I forget to mention that it was in our bed that we shared that he DIDN'T have the deceny to even change the damn sheets on & on the couch in our room, that I sat on every single fucking day too!? I may have cheated but I never fucked him yet alone disrespected him in the derogatory way that he did to me!
So here we are broken up & still living together trying to figure out where to go from here & BAM! My world goes from to crazy to even more fucked up...
IM PREGNANT!
So we discuss things & decided to try & work things out. My one condition was that if he really wanted it to work out between us that he was to have absolutely NOTHING to do with Julia anymore, & he agreed. He told her & after that he kept his word. Things were starting to slowly get better. That was until almost a week later I was at the mall with Erin & received a call from Helen saying that her sister had tried to kill herself. She winded up swallowing a bunch of pills & was in the hospital all because Danny had cut everything off. I felt bad, Julia had once been my friend, I had known her since I was 14, I was upset I didn't wanna see her trying to off herself, especially not over a guy; especially NOT Danny. Then Helen shook my soul... she told me that because of her attempting to kill herself she had had a miscarriage. A miscarriage??? We were both pregnant??? & by the same man???
WHAT THE FUCK!!!?!!!
Needles to say, I gave up. I envitably packed my shit & left 3 months before our wedding.
He winded up being with Julia, took her on my honeymoon to St. Thomas, had the audacity to bring me back a t-shirt, & then showed me pictures like I really wanted to see them. He was there for all my doctor appointments & for the birth of Marley tho. He wound up marrying Julia the next month, only 6 months after we split. She got pregnant 6 months later & had a their son together 2 months after Marley's first birthday. All this while still living at home with his mom & dad, HA! Better her than me! Besides my son, all I did was waste 3yrs of my life on a recluse, cheatin ass mama's boy, smfh. Because of Julia, I can honestly say I dodged a bullet. (No pun intended)
2yrs later he tried to kill his self with a .357 Magnum with hollow points to the left temple. He failed. I'll never forget cleaning the blood mixed with brain matter off the floor like a zombie. No matter the ill blood between us, he was still the father of my son, & I felt like no mother should have to clean something like that up their self so I did it for her. What the movies & T.V. shows don't tell you is that there is no clean up crew that jus magically shows up to clean a crime scene. You have to call & pay for them to do that shit, & it's far from cheap!
Danny got lucky as shit tho. The bullet fragments bounced on all the hard parts of his brain. So the only thing that really happened from it was he lost his peripheral vision, his jaw is messed up, & he lost his hearing in his left ear. Talk bout a close call.
After his, we'll call it, "incident" I tried being friends with him for a bit but it didn't work out. He told me that he cheated on me 2 other times before Julia so the entire time he was giving me grief about Brennon & I didn't even fuck him he had his own secrets. Smdh Then he proceeded to tell me that he wished shit with us would have worked out instead blah blah blah but I told him I was happy where I'm at & that our friendship wasn't gonna work out. At the time I had just gotten with Bugz & now its 6yrs later & still counting... just goes to show that karma is a motherfucker, what goes around comes around, & that everything happens for a reason.
Please learn from my mistakes, I know that I sure have!
XOXOXO
